


The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

by Magnetism_bind



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotions, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, too many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 01:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11025453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnetism_bind/pseuds/Magnetism_bind
Summary: Thomas finds himself falling in love with his liaison and doesn't know what to do about it.





	The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

He hadn’t meant this to happen.

Thomas stays in his study the entire afternoon. James had left after a long discussion over their options for Nassau.

Thomas rubs at his temples, unable to stop thinking about it, about James. At one point James had been gesturing and his hair had come loose from its tie, drifting freely over his forehead.

“Beg pardon, my lord.” James looks around for the tie, swearing under his breath.

As much as he would have liked to watch the lieutenant crawl around on his knees on the carpet (because he _is_ attractive, Thomas has accepted that fact) but with his hair falling over his face and the way the lieutenant keeps swiping it back impatiently with his fingers, Thomas finds it very hard to concentrate on the topic at hand.

“Here.” Thomas reaches into his desk. He takes out a ribbon of Miranda’s. It’s a deep wine velvet. He holds it out to James.

The lieutenant hesitates. “Your wife won’t mind?”

Thomas refrains from saying Miranda would be thoroughly pleased at the thought of him wearing her ribbon. “She won’t mind in the slightest. That has been in my drawer for I don’t know how long.”

“I’ll return it as soon as possible.” James promises. He reaches out and his fingertips brush Thomas’s.

It’s the smallest of touches, but heat floods through Thomas and the lieutenant’s cheeks are scarlet as he turns to scoop his hair into place. When he turns back round to face Thomas once more, he’s somewhat more composed.

They continue their conversation but every time James turns his head and Thomas catches sight of him wearing the ribbon in his hair, it makes his breath catch.

He’s had affection for men before, he’s taken lovers before, but somehow this is different and he can feel it in the air.

Thomas sighs and presses his hands to his face. What is he supposed to do here?

There’s a knock at the door. “Thomas?” Miranda opens the door. “Is something wrong?”

“Not…as yet.” Thomas murmurs.

“That sounds possibly concerning.”

“The lieutenant.” Thomas offers at last.

“Ah.”

“I believe I’ve come to care for him rather more than anticipated.” He had known he would be taken with James the first moment he set eyes on him, but he had never anticipated this.

“I see.”

As well as he knows his wife and Thomas knows her very well indeed, he can’t read anything at all in Miranda’s voice. He waits as she goes over to the sideboard and pours them each a brandy.

Miranda brings his over to him and holds it out. “What do you wish to do about it?”

“What do you wish me to do about it?” Thomas asks in return. She and James were lovers first and he know she is fond of James as well.

“I think if you love him, you should have him.” Miranda says frankly. She rests her hand on his shoulder, squeezing affectionately.

“It’s not that simple.” Thomas sighs.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Miranda points out.

Thomas sips his brandy. “And if he returns my affections?”

“Then he is welcome.” She kisses his hair. “You know that, Thomas.”

In the early days of their marriage they had discussed what they would do if one of them fell in love with someone else. But that had been years ago and no one had ever come close to gaining in Thomas’s affections. None of Miranda’s paramours had taken precedent in her heart until now.

“Very well.” Thomas murmurs.

 *  *  *

After. After his father leaves. After the kiss. After the rest of Thomas’s companions abandon him. After all of that, James is somehow still there and Thomas asks him to stay.

He says it, and then is tongue-tied at the notion that anything could happen between them. What is he doing?

“My lord.” James pauses.

“Stay.” Thomas whispers again. Then he looks over at James. “Unless you wish to go.” Possibly James has decided that defending him was a mistake and he should distance himself from the Hamilton name as soon as possible. But one look at James’s eyes and he knows that’s not true.

“James.” Thomas murmurs. Instinctively he licks his lips, remembering that press of James’s lips on his, how good it felt to kiss him after so many months of wanting that very thing.

James draws closer. ”Yes?”

“If you stay…I have to tell you something.” Thomas knows he doesn’t have to. He could keep James as a friend, tell him that the kiss had been born out of a spontaneous moment of gratitude and friendship. James might even possibly believe it. But Thomas couldn’t do that. James deserves the truth even if costs Thomas his friendship.

He swallows tightly. “Earlier…when I kissed you.”

James just gazes at him with bemused, wary eyes.

“I have no desire to put any kind of impediment or obstacle in the path of our actions, our goals, or indeed our friendship. Your friendship has come to mean a great deal in the last few months and I would be truly sorry to lose it.”

“Why should you lose it?” James frowns.

“Because…I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.” Thomas rubs at his forehead, waiting for James to speak, to say anything. “Please…” He waits, sweat gathering under his sleeves.

“You think you’re in love with me?” James repeats softly as though a storm had swept through the room and only left that brief sentence in its wake.

Thomas closes his eyes. “Yes.” Now James will leave. Now he’ll turn his back on Thomas too. He waits for the sound of the door closing, to be alone.

Instead there’s a tentative touch on his shoulder and Thomas blinks, opening his eyes to see James standing before him, gazing up at him.

“You…love me.” James repeats.

“Yes.”

James’s hand slides up to cup Thomas’s cheek. He shakes his head, a wordless little gesture like he can’t believe it’s true, and then he leans in and kisses Thomas.

Never has Thomas let himself imagine the conversation going like this, with James’s arms around him, drawing him chest to chest, James’s hands on his back, James’s body flush against him. _James._

“James.” Thomas murmurs. “Am I to understand that you might return my affections?”

James’s laugh is caught somewhere in his chest. “Yes,” He says at last. “You might say that, my lord.”

“I’m very pleased to hear it, lieutenant.” Thomas whispers. He kisses James again, feeling James smile against his lips.


End file.
